How Bo Hanson Met his Dream Girl

By Timothy Lantz

Montgomery Alabama, Friday, February 14, 1964…

Bo Hanson stood in line at the Montgomery General Lee Savings & Loan. He was fourth from the front and directly behind the most beautiful woman in the world.

She was a little shorter than Bo, dressed in a white mini skirt with matching silk blouse and knee high go-go boots. Her hair was auburn and done up in a hive, which was surprising, since so many women were wearing it down these days. He could see that she wore a pair of daisy earrings, and that they were clip-on. He wasn't sure why that was important, but he noted that detail just the same. She smelled of lavender, which tickled his nose, and lastly, on top of her head, she had pushed a pair of green plastic sunglasses.

And for all of that, there was still just one tiny thing more that really caused his heart to flutter. She had a small, silver .38 in her handbag.

Now Bo, having spent the better part of his 26 years on this earth discovering all manner of ways to get himself in trouble, had come to the Saving & Loan to make a rather substantial withdrawal. He was tired of just getting by and was out to make a new man of himself. This of course would be a simple enough thing but for the fact that Bo never had a bank account in his life.

That didn't matter no nothing to Bo though, he had a pair of .45s, just like that Shadow fella on the radio, and you'd be surprised at just how accommodating a person could be when it came to the business end of staring down the barrel.

So Bo made his plan and spent the better part of the week keeping an eye on things, checking all the comings and goings around the General Lee, until finally he was ready. He didn't even notice the date until he had stepped inside and saw it displayed on the desk, where you would stand to fill out your deposit slip.

"If that don't beat all," he thought. See, Bo never had much luck with the ladies and what with the exception of Suzy French asking him to the Sadie Hawkins dance in junior high, he never really had a reason to see Valentine's Day as anything but another day of the month. Yet, here on this, the most sacred day of romance, he found his better half.

There was however just one problem with this.

In all his years of hanging out with the wrong crowd, Bo had managed to become a rather quick study of people and their intentions, sort of an expert on body language I guess you'd say, and right now he was reading this young woman as if she were the Saturday Evening Post. She was gonna rob this bank, and being that she was in front of him in line, she was gonna do it before he did.

Bo knew that if he was gonna marry this woman, and have a little money to spend on a nice honeymoon in Vegas, he was gonna have to act fast as she was now the second person in line.

He dropped his deposit slip, on which he was gonna right his stick up note, to the floor beside the girl. Seemingly she didn't notice or rather, chose to ignore it. Bo, undaunted, bent over to pick it up and purposely bumped into her as he did so.

"Sorry miss," he stated as he stood up.

The girl just made a face and looked at him. Bo didn't mind however, he had what he wanted, her attention.

"Say you sure is the prettiest filly, I ever did lay my eyes on."

"Fuck off cowboy."

"Now that ain't any way to talk to your future husband. Is it?"

"What?" She was starting to look nervous now and Bo watched as her hand made a move for the purse. He let her get her hand on the gun and then grabbed her wrist.

"Now all I'm sayin'," he began as he used his other hand to open his own jacket revealing one of his .45s, "is that two people with so much in common, surely must be made for each other. Why else on this day of all days would fate act so kindly as to bring us together like this?"

The girl smiled. "Okay cowboy, who am I to try and tell cupid he shot a stray arrow?"

"Now that's what I'm talkin' bout girl. You have a plan for how you're gonna spend your money?"

The girl relaxed her hand on the gun and Bo let go of her wrist. "Well, let's say I'm open to suggestions."

"Good, now it seems to me you haven't properly filled out your deposit slip. Probably best if you go over there to that counter and take care of it." He nodded over toward the door where the bank's lone security guard stood. "While you do that, I'll conduct my business and then we'll have our first date."

"Just so you know, I'm not cheap."

"Wouldn't be worth nothin' if you were."

"Next!" The lady behind the counter interrupted.

The girl gave Bo a smile and then moved to the counter. As she looked inside her purse she realized she didn't have the proper paperwork ready. "Oh, I swear I had it in here…"

"Look Miss, I've got a whole line of folks after you, if you're not ready perhaps you could step off line?"

The girl looked behind her, then back to the teller. "Of course, I'm terribly sorry." She then made her way over to the counter and took up a position from which she could keep an eye on the guard and began going through her purse.

Bo smiled, not only was his new girl a knockout, she was a helluva actress as well.

He stepped up to the counter. "I'd like to make a withdrawal please."

"How much?"

"Oh say about ten thousand ought to do."

The teller looked skeptically at Bo, "Your account number?"

"Oh I haven't got an account here," he stated as he opened up his jacket revealing the two pistols.

The teller squirmed, her eyes flashed over to the guard.

"I wouldn't do that maam," he gave the girl a wink.

"I… I can't give you that kind of money sir, not without getting it from the vault and we'll need Mr. Troughton for that."

"Well then, you better get Mr. Troughton."

"Yes," she stammered, then turned to face an office door. "Mr.," her voice cracked funny. "Mr. Troughton!"

Well it didn't take a genius to know that something was wrong, hell a couple of huntin' dogs in the next county could have heard that girl's yell. The security guard immediately went to place his hand on his holster and started to walk over. He never got a step closer though as the girl right smacked him in the head with the .38. His body went down like a sack of wheat, fast and hard.

Bo blew the lady a kiss.

"Now if y'all just get me my money, the little lady and I have matters to attend to, and need to be movin' along."

And that is how Bo Hanson met his dream girl…